I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
