you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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