Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
