I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
