I just made out with a guy for $7.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
