you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
