You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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