i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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