Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
