dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
