spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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