Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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