I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
