i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
