Yo dont text me then not text me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
