I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
