dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
