C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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