did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
