Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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