sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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