i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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