i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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