As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
