I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
