Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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