So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
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