She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
