Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
