whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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