the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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