she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
