either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
