do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize