Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
