So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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