We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
