so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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