Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We are all done wearing pants today
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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