Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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