we have pet lesbian snakes
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
