Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
