the condom got lost in my hair
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
