I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
