she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
