apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
