Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
