so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
