I want to stick my p in your. b.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
