The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
