Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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