So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
